Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
