its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So many bounce houses so little time
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
