How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So vagazzling was a success
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
