Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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