Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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