you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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