And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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