dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
In America we eat man semen.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
