and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize