just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I intend to get homeless drunk
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
