So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
