This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
