Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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