well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
