bring money and cleavage
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
