I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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