That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
