u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
