i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
