took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
