I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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