Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize