2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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