i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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