Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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