you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
