and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
