I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
