So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize