Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
