I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
