I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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