Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
