I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
