I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize