he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
