Someone shit on the floor
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
