Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
