pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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