I need help removing her.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
