I want to stick my p in your. b.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
