Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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