I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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