i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize