was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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