Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
