Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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