I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize