Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
