By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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