I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
