Its about making memories worth repressing
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
