In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
