I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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