fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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